Starting yesterday, the University of Birmingham’s Parents and Carers Fortnight 2023 is a programme of events from the Parents and Carers Network. Natalia Hartono, a final year PhD student in Mechanical Engineering, shares how she balances her research programme with her responsibilities as a parent.
Balancing the responsibilities of being a postgraduate researcher and a parent is a unique challenge that demands sacrifice and unwavering determination. In this blog post, I will share my personal journey, highlighting the valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way. Despite the difficulties, maintaining a positive mindset, embracing personal growth, and having positive supports have been instrumental in navigating this demanding lifestyle.
Embracing Scholarships and Responsibilities
Receiving scholarships to pursue my postgraduate studies was a privilege, but it also came with significant responsibilities. Meeting requirements and achieving milestones demanded substantial time and effort. I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue my studies and acknowledge the sacrifices my family has made to support me on this journey.
Finding Joy in the Journey
Participating in university events and competitions has truly enriched my academic experience. Instead of fixating solely on winning, I have always prioritised embracing the joy that comes from the process itself. I firmly believe that the true value lies in the growth and learning that occur along the way, regardless of the final outcome. This mindset is something I am wholeheartedly instilling in my child, teaching her the importance of embracing both successes and failures as opportunities for personal development. By embodying resilience and persistence, I am actively laying a foundation for my child’s future, emphasizing the fulfilment that stems from the journey rather than the pursuit of victory.
The Price of Pursuing Higher Education
Behind the accomplishments lie a multitude of sacrifices: sleepless nights, working on weekends and holidays, and missing out on leisure time have been part of my journey. However, I always make an effort to find dedicated time for my daughter, showing her that she is loved and cared for. While the path has not been easy, my family and I have prioritised my studies, knowing that these sacrifices are temporary and will ultimately benefit our collective future.
Overcoming Challenges During the Pandemic
Starting my PhD and adjusting to a new school for my child in a foreign country coincided with the pandemic’s challenges. Lockdowns and school closures disrupted our routines, but through resilience and unwavering support, we navigated through. My husband’s understanding and our commitment to prioritising our daughter’s needs played a vital role. Night-time chats became our solace, fostering stability. I adapted my study routine to dedicate focused time at night, balancing academics with my daughter’s emotional well-being. This experience taught us the value of flexibility, adaptability, and family support in challenging times, strengthening our bond.
The Power of Supportive Networks and Services
Building a strong support system is crucial for successfully balancing parenting and postgraduate studies. My relationship with my supervisor and research group has provided invaluable guidance and encouragement. Additionally, utilising resources such as Library Services and joining networks like the “Shut Up and Work” community have improved my time management skills and created a supportive environment. Importantly, I’ve also recognised the importance of seeking help when needed and accessing mental health support during periods of burnout.
Navigating the demanding yet fulfilling phase of balancing parenthood and pursuing postgraduate studies requires sacrifice, understanding, consistency, and a positive mindset. Throughout my personal journey, I have come to appreciate the significance of embracing the process and cherishing the valuable lessons learned from both triumphs and setbacks. The unwavering support of my family and the resources available to me have been invaluable. Although the path may not always be easy, prioritising and fostering a supportive environment enable us to navigate this demanding yet fulfilling phase of our lives. Remember, you are not alone—seek support, maintain a positive outlook, and find joy in gracefully managing these intertwined priorities.
UoB PGR Development 